(no subject)

As of tomorrow, this will no longer be my home. My credit card has been chopped up, my chest of drawers is empty and my finger is bare. I seem to keep focussing on all these trivial details, whether it be in a robotic way of examining what's necessary logistically right now, or whether my soul is slamming against my ribcage because I will not kiss his forehead every day ever again.

Our lives, our love for each other and our identities have been so intertwined throughout the last almost-seven years. Taking him out of my life as a partner is going to be excruciating, because there are places within me where I'm not quite sure where I stop and he begins. I feel I will need to destroy parts of my own identity for that separation to happen. The idea that we will both be rebuilding ourselves without the other there to bear witness is terrifying, saddening, and at the same time a little liberating.

He has taken the pieces of me and made them whole with his presence. He has been my rock, my teacher and my dearest friend. I pride myself on being someone who likes to jump off the high metaphorical cliffs in life, but I never dreamed I would have to do so without him holding my hand, without us taking strength from each other as we dive into life. And now that the time is here and I indeed have to fend for myself without his partnership, I feel like it is absolutely the right thing. We love each other so much that we are willing to let each other go so we can grow and be better people, living more richly.

I feel privileged to have had him in my life in such an intimate way, and I have no doubt we will always carry each other in our hearts.

Cheers, everyone. To a relationship well lived, well loved and well let go.